About me…where I am and where I want to be

So I decided to write a blog just to help myself clear my thoughts and if anyone came across it that was dealing with the same thing that maybe they would feel good knowing someone else is going through it too.

So I had always had an issue with my weight and image. I remember feeling fat when I was as young as 9 but now when I look at pictures of myself at that age I realize I was not even close to being chubby. I was an average kid but for some reason I got it in my head that I was chubby. This thought continued on throughout my life. I am now in my mid 20s and I still feel that way. But I think for the first time my thoughts are valid. I started gaining weight a few years ago and my emotional self and self image has just been taking a toll ever since. I have tried so many times to lose weight and get active but I always ended up falling off the bandwagon either cause the diet was just too restrictive and hard or I would lose my will or school would consume my life and I’d get busy and sidetracked.

I finished my degree this year and have been working part time while I figure out what my next career goals are. I decided I needed to make this change for myself. I want to be healthy so I can be around for those I love and feel good about myself. I started following the couch to 5k program. I am now on my 3rd week (I just did the day 1 workout yesterday). I chose to do this program because I have NEVER enjoyed running honestly I hated it but there are a lot of health benefits to it and you can run anywhere all you need are running shoes. I chose to start mine on a treadmill in my basement as I just dont have the confidence to run outside yet and I know doing it on a treadmill will be easier to stick to for me. If you havent checked out this routine you should definitely look it up. It is a 9 week program that gradually gets your ready to run the 5k without stopping. I also downloaded an app for it that way I can keep track of everything and if I was running outside the app would keep track of my distances and pace.

So right now I am determined to make myself healthy and happy. I have a supportive family and a loving relationship and I think I owe it to myself to be happy. I don’t want to feel so uncomfortable anymore. I don’t want to feel like no clothes look good on me or feel so uncomfortable that my natural state is to suck in my stomach at all times (I have had this habit since a teenager). I want to live my life and be happy.

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